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| enjoying this beautiful summer day! |
weight gain: 9.4 lbs from pre-pregnancy
stretch marks: ah, they're accumulating as expected. haha. i'm trying not to be too sad about it, but it's hard. i know in the end it will all be worth it. they don't bother me for the most part- just one larger one that aches and itches when things are super tight down there.
foods i'm loving: margaritas! icecream! popsicles! watermelon! peaches! mmmm. i think summer has hit my tastebuds.
foods i'm hating: nothing really out of the ordinary for me!
sleep: ehhh. things got worse last night- baby is low and always on my bladder which equals lots of bathroom trips! but i seem to be very well hydrated, so that's a plus? also a plus, i don't seem to be suffering much from the frequent sleep interruptions, as long as i get my 1+ hour nap in (and i only need that if i plan on going up and down our apartment stairs more than twice a day!) haha.
symptoms: BIGNESS! tight belly. can't eat much at one time. the warmer weather is great, but today it was more on the hot side and i felt faint at the farmer's market.
what i miss: sleeping comfortably and not having to get up every two hours to empty my bladder! i suppose it's good practice for being up every two hours for baby, but still. it'd be nice to sleep well when i was sleeping. also- this doesn't have much to do with pregnancy, but- i miss the beach. my family is going in late july, and i'm so sad i'm not going with them. C and i are trying to plan a short just us trip down there in october when baby is older, but i'm not sure if it will pan out. there's just something about the ocean that cues my soul to rest.
what i'm looking forward to: holding little babe and enjoying him.
frustrations: mostly just trying desperately to hang onto my naivety. that perhaps children really are a GIFT to be enjoyed and cherished. that the newborn days (as difficult as they will be, interrupting our adult schedules) will not merely be something to be survived, cried through, and counted down- but lovingly spent getting to know this new person that God has seen fit to put in our lives. to want to take a break from 'real life' just to invest in him. i wonder about it. i wonder if it could be that way. if maybe it doesn't have to be as awful as everyone says.
emotions: feeling ready- in that i have everything on my checklist done. hospital bags packed. the birthplan complete and signed by our doctor. books read. the nursery is all ready for little man. i feel mostly at peace with what is coming and am savoring these last quiet days and jealously enjoying every moment i get to have C to myself.
:::
it's crazy that when people ask me when i'm due, i say, "two weeks!" haha. it is exciting to have his arrival so near- i go through my day thinking oh he could come today...or tomorrow... and despite what people say, i still feel like he might come early. he seems ready to me- he's low and 'in position.' moving only in little jerks now since it's all so tight. and i'm pretty sure i'm having contractions daily, though they don't hurt yet. everything gets tight on my belly and i get hot all over and my heart races a bit and it's harder to breathe? i usually need to sit down, but only because i get a bit dizzy from the sudden hottness. we haven't turned our AC on yet, so that might be part of it! haha.
at our 37 week appointment last week, baby's heartbeat was really good! he kept wriggling away from the doctor's hands. haha. we don't have our 38 week appointment until this thursday, so i didn't want to wait that long to post an update, but i'll let you know if anything changes!
today C helped me make pre-made burritos in bulk to freeze for lunches next month! we made about 20 for $20. so hurrah! it will be nice to have some from scratch meals made. i'm also boiling chicken bones for broth right now- i expect to have quite a lot of broth (which i read is good for breastfeeding), so soup may be on the horizon, even though it will be hot outside.
we also bathed the cats this week to (hopefully?) minimize their shedding. it seems to have mostly worked for ogden, but rudyard is still a fuzzy mess. they will probably be quarantined from the livingroom until they stop fuzzing- i super don't want to mess with that while newbaby is here.
i was feeling anxious about not having close family or friends to help us with baby, but God has brought peace to my heart this week. some of our n.kentucky friends have said they would be on call for us, we will have a meal calendar for people to sign up to bring us something if they want, and even though B will be gone, she's making us some freezer meals. and my momma is coming a few days after we arrive home from the hospital. so things should be good. C has been so supportive in encouraging me and helping with things around the house, and even though it will be a big adjustment, i know we can learn do it together. he will be here as much as i need him to be in the beginning. i am so thankful that he doesn't have a traditional job right now. God really has provided just what He knew i needed. i feel like if i have C beside me and i have God feeding me the truth, that my value doesn't come from being a 'successful' momma, that i have all i need to be at peace in this new phase. sleep or no sleep. i suppose we shall see.
i keep telling God- okay i'm trusting you. i really hope this having children thing turns out to be the blessing you've promised. i'm pretty hopeful about it, because even through everyone's skepticism and 'battle stories,' i feel this anticipation- like God's getting ready to just blow my mind with the most amazing blessing. and that's exciting!
at our 37 week appointment last week, baby's heartbeat was really good! he kept wriggling away from the doctor's hands. haha. we don't have our 38 week appointment until this thursday, so i didn't want to wait that long to post an update, but i'll let you know if anything changes!
today C helped me make pre-made burritos in bulk to freeze for lunches next month! we made about 20 for $20. so hurrah! it will be nice to have some from scratch meals made. i'm also boiling chicken bones for broth right now- i expect to have quite a lot of broth (which i read is good for breastfeeding), so soup may be on the horizon, even though it will be hot outside.
we also bathed the cats this week to (hopefully?) minimize their shedding. it seems to have mostly worked for ogden, but rudyard is still a fuzzy mess. they will probably be quarantined from the livingroom until they stop fuzzing- i super don't want to mess with that while newbaby is here.
i was feeling anxious about not having close family or friends to help us with baby, but God has brought peace to my heart this week. some of our n.kentucky friends have said they would be on call for us, we will have a meal calendar for people to sign up to bring us something if they want, and even though B will be gone, she's making us some freezer meals. and my momma is coming a few days after we arrive home from the hospital. so things should be good. C has been so supportive in encouraging me and helping with things around the house, and even though it will be a big adjustment, i know we can learn do it together. he will be here as much as i need him to be in the beginning. i am so thankful that he doesn't have a traditional job right now. God really has provided just what He knew i needed. i feel like if i have C beside me and i have God feeding me the truth, that my value doesn't come from being a 'successful' momma, that i have all i need to be at peace in this new phase. sleep or no sleep. i suppose we shall see.
i keep telling God- okay i'm trusting you. i really hope this having children thing turns out to be the blessing you've promised. i'm pretty hopeful about it, because even through everyone's skepticism and 'battle stories,' i feel this anticipation- like God's getting ready to just blow my mind with the most amazing blessing. and that's exciting!
God is definitely getting ready to blow your mind with the most amazing blessing! Just that first moment when you see him-- knowing THIS is who you've been snuggled up with the past 9 months, not knowing it-- is so emotional. You instantly know him and yet are so surprised by him at the same time. He will be perfect and you will know a love that will cause you to fall deeper in love with God-- He must be good to allow us to experience the beauty of pregnancy and life and birth and creation. To allow us to be part of His creating and making. To give us a role in it. To allow us to bring forth His precious creation. It is beautiful and life-changing and, yes, it's hard, but most good things are. I hardly know the person I was before 2011. It just all changes you and shapes you so much and in such a good way. I wouldn't want to go back to the way things were. We took the boys to the zoo this weekend and Tyson said, "Wouldn't it be nice to go to the zoo without kids? We could actually enjoy it." I immediately said, "No way. It would be so lonely. I wouldn't enjoy it if they weren't here." I don't do well with a lot of free time-- I get too lonely and too analytical and too self-centered. Having less free time suits my temperament and robs me of opportunities to sin and causes me to appreciate and use wisely the time that I do have when my tendency is to be lazy and to procrastinate. Having kids has been the best season of my life so far; I love them so much.
ReplyDeleteI hope that made sense and that it was clear that these are just my personal experiences with mothering. I in no way mean that everyone without kids uses their free time unwisely...I just meant myself. :)
Deleteah this was so good to hear! thank you so much for your sweet encouragement. oh and you don't have to worry about me being offended by what you say! haha. i know that you are speaking from your experiences and that mine might be different! :)
Deletei'm so excited to meet our little man. and i can see what you mean about wasting time before-- i feel like i was like that so much before i got pregnant! it's so easy for me to slip into laziness. i'm sure i will be so much more productive with my time after he's born. haha. and i'm not sure the staying at home will be as hard of an adjustment for me, just because i'm pretty antisocial to begin with! i probably won't really notice a difference in 'going out' with friends, since i never do that much to begin with. i know i will miss going out on dates with C, but maybe we can arrange to have a babysitter every so often and have a night out. :)